Bea V. Larsen . . . .Commentaries |
|
|
Bea V. Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for Resolution of Disputes in |
|
|
|
Men From Venus? This entry was posted on 6/4/2006 7:00 AM and is filed under Personally Speaking. I've never been a serious fan of televised sporting events,
although there was a time in the distant past that I pretended to be,
just as a way of sharing cozy moments with my husband.
I wasn't actually a complete fraud. I could get caught
up in the ballet of basketball or the graceful beauty of Olympic
skiing
and skating. And, although I experienced watching a football game as a complete
bore, I found I really
loved watching the post touchdown hugging, and even the congratulatory slap on
the rump.
I'm used to seeing women embrace when they greet each other in a social setting, or on departure, while men, with greater reserve, shake hands. Something about seeing men lose that reserve with other men, joyously sharing a celebratory hug, I found heartwarming. Sporting events used to be the only time I got to witness this, except among close family members. And in many families, the embrace, even between fathers and sons, remains awkward or absent. I know I need to be on my guard about gender stereotyping, and perhaps this particular stereotype, that women are more physically expressive in a joyous moment, is truly beginning to fade. I vividly recall, fairly early in 43's first term, when the president was addressing a joint session of congress, both Senator Daschle and Representative Gephart exchanged bear hugs with Mr.Bush, in the televised view of millions. I noted that those hugs were worthy of comment on the front page of the Times the next day, so at least four or five years ago, outside the sports arena, for men (and here of opposing political parties!) hugging in public was remarkable. There are some other gender stereotypes that have definitely fallen by the wayside, which, professionally, I now occasionally witness. Women who happen to have the higher income, when couples divorce, are no happier paying child support or alimony than most men ever were. Women who've accumulated larger pension funds than their divorcing husbands often fail to see the fairness in having to share those funds with their spouse. They are likely to use the exact same rationale so often expressed by men: But I'm the one who worked so hard to earn it; surely that is mine alone to keep. I hope that women don't diminish the importance we now place on being expressive and nurturing relationships, as we break through the glass ceiling, become more and more politically visible and share power with the suits. Far better, from my perspective, if it works just the other way around and men loosen their hold on cool reserve. |
|
|