Bea V. Larsen . . . .Commentaries |
|
|
Bea V. Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for Resolution of Disputes in |
|
|
|
The Greatest Gift This entry was posted on 9/1/2007 4:53 PM and is filed under Personally Speaking. The best gift I ever received was not my husband's to give, but was gratefully accepted: permission to change my life.
It was the summer of 1964. For six weeks, Len was exploring Scandinavia with sixteen other academic geologists, our longest separation in fifteen years of marriage. During the last of these weeks, the three kids and I drove about the midwest, visiting friends and family. We ended our journey at Laguardia Airport, peering through a wall of glass, eager to spot Len in the long line of weary travelers navigating customs. Reunited, we headed for an airport hotel. All five of us tumbled onto the big bed, filling the air with our stories, the kids eventually settling down on roll-away cots. Len and I held each other close, wordless, as they drifted off to sleep. The next morning, we started home, the windows of our Chevy station wagon open to the warm wind of late summer. Taking a road trip with a geologist presents the challenge of drawing his attention away from the rock and land formations he finds ever fascinating. Perhaps Len's divided attention gave me the courage to casually remark, my voice tentative: I'm thinking about going to law school. . . . . . . . . . . . I was thirty-five years old. Julia, our youngest, would soon enter kindergarten. Concentrating fully on raising children gave me a satisfying sense of purpose, but as they got older, motherhood as a career was no longer enough. Anticipating this, we'd talked about what I would do next. My teaching certification could be renewed, but I'd been living in a child centered world for twelve years and yearned for something else, but what? One evening, when on my travels, the husband of a friend, herself in the same quandary, surprised me by asking if I'd ever considered law school. I hadn't, but the idea was born and took shape over the weeks that followed. I spoke of it to no one. Len's approval was the missing piece. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Today, when law school enrollment of women equals that of men, do many remember that just forty years ago, it was assumed without question that there was some sound reason that law was an all male profession? Would challenging that premise undermine my desirability as a woman, as Len's wife? In 1949, the year we married, aspirations of women were in part shaped by tradition, but also by the wave of men returning from World War II, yearning for family. Even college educated women married young and welcomed home and hearth as their destiny. (To put things in perspective, we married 14 years before Betty Freidan wrote "The Feminine Mystique" and sparked the second wave of the woman's movement.) Is my story dated, a relic of the past? Is attention any longer paid to maintaining the delicate balance of men's expectations and women's fulfillment? Do women still seek the approval of a loved partner before making a major identity shift? Do men? Or is it the essence of "emancipation" to no longer do so? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Remembering who I was in 1964, I think back to that important moment on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, and wonder how my life might have played out had Len not responded: Law school? What a great idea, perfect for you! CommentsDisplay comments as (Linear | Threaded)
|
|
|
Copyright . http://BEALARSEN.COM. All rights reserved.