Bea V. Larsen . . . .Commentaries |
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Bea V. Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for Resolution of Disputes in |
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Dream Demons This entry was posted on 5/10/2008 10:25 AM and is filed under Personally Speaking. I rarely pay attention to my dreams and recall them infrequently. Recently one caused me to rouse with a start, come alert, and then sigh with gratitude that the waking world offered safety from the demons that invaded my sleep. Some background before I tell the story: I was ill last week with an infection that, had it gone untreated, could have had serious consequences. Once on medication, I was assured a fairly rapid recovery. My antibiotic carries on its label the instruction to take the full complement of pills, even if no longer symptomatic. The package insert repeats this warning in bold type suggesting a likely return of illness if all pills are not used. My druggist repeated this warning. Some additional background: Since my condition developed because for too long I ignored symptoms, family and close friends quizzed me as to why I did so. Those believing that sickness arises from a compromised immune system, often stress related, asked pointed questions about any recent troubling thoughts. So, practiced as I am in identifying my anxiety triggers, I actually made a list of twelve items. When, after the dream, I went back to review what I’d written, one of my sleep demons barely made it as number eleven. The other did not even appear on the list. Number eleven read “upcoming trip”. Although relaxed in the past, I am now spooked by the anticipation of air travel. Not of the actual flight, but all that goes before and after. Press coverage of delays on the tarmac, canceled flights, lengthy security checks and lost baggage, add to my usual pre-travel anxiety of not waking on time and missing the plane. Rational, it is not. When I told a close friend (to whom I’d earlier confided becoming travel avoidant), that I’d not been under any particular stress, she raised an eyebrow and with a laugh asked when I was leaving town. It is soon. So, here’s the dream: I’m seated on a plane that has just taken off, next to the friend alluded to above. As we leave the ground I reach under the seat for my carry-on bag and discover it is not there. I remember with alarm that I didn’t bring it, hadn’t even packed it before leaving home. And in that moment before waking, I realize I do not have the medication I was repeatedly warned to complete. A return of the scary infection is the trigger that did not appear on my list. Just exactly what can I gain by revisiting this dream? That I am more anxious about the trip than I’ve been willing to admit to myself? That the impact of this bout of potentially serious illness, (which fades in importance each day of my full recovery), is being pushed from conscious thought prematurely? Why is it that the most stressful issue of all, given such a central role in my dream, did not make my waking list? If we start with the premise that the unobserved life is not lived as well as it might be, that being self-aware is the best path to wise decisions and widening horizons, then the question is: should we hold onto our dream demons and pay them greater attention before blowing them off? |
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