My cat likes to have her ears pulled. Her eyes narrow, and she arches her neck with pleasure as she awaits the next gentle tug. This feline resists being picked up, but curls into the crook of my arm when I am propped up in bed reading. She nudges, seeking my touch, and the pressure … Continue reading The Pleasure of Touch
A Delicate Balance
Is it heresy to suggest that friends are often easier to be with than family? On a recent evening, I once again watched the movie version of the Edward Albee Pulitzer Prize Drama, “A Delicate Balance,” which was introduced on Broadway in 1966, yet seems in no way dated. I was drawn in by Albee’s … Continue reading A Delicate Balance
Anger Revisited
I don’t deal well with anger, rarely express it, and when I’m the target of another’s wrath, I withdraw, literally if possible. I have few memories of angry outbursts in my childhood home, nor were they part of my marriage or later family life. Only vicariously have I been witness to rage, that of actors … Continue reading Anger Revisited
Talking Things Over
I’m trying to make a difficult decision, lying awake for hours at night. But as I share my concern with close friends, some calm begins to return. Long ago this became my way of coping when troubles arose, but it calls for a measure of self-disclosure, a sharing of vulnerabilities, which I know is hard … Continue reading Talking Things Over
The Second Question
I talk to people in elevators. Even unfamiliar faces open to a smile with a passing comment on the weather and a “How are you?” Almost invariably the answer is “Fine.” And in moments we part, wishing each other well. A graceful verbal pas de deux. But this story can take unexpected turns. Seated in … Continue reading The Second Question
An Unquiet Mind
Can simply reading another’s personal history significantly impact our own? Kay Redfield Jamison’s book An Unquiet Mind was given to me by a friend when I confided that a member of my extended family was exhibiting extreme behaviors. I’d begun to wonder whether I was witnessing the normal range of craziness that accompanies the breakup … Continue reading An Unquiet Mind
Secrets Are for Telling
“Secrets are never kept. Everything eventually becomes known.” These words, coming from an old friend, surprised me. I’d been describing the plight of a family I’m close to, in which secrets are eroding the relationship of mother, father, and adult daughter. The couple were ending their unhappy marriage. They had told their adult children, and … Continue reading Secrets Are for Telling
