One of my grandsons is encouraging me to write essays about my childhood so that one day he might share them with his offspring to learn about their heritage. That provides me with the motivation to think back to years mostly forgotten, but about some specific incidents that memory has preserved. When I was about … Continue reading The Good Girl

Is it possible to start a new life at the age of 93? What prompted my decision to move from a comfortable home with lifetime friends close by to a smaller home two hours away? Still healthy and able to navigate well from room to room and even climb the steps to my second-floor bedroom, … Continue reading A New Start

Why am I so willing to forgive many of those whose past sexist and racist statements or behaviors are exposed, sometimes to great fanfare? I wince every time I hear about the resignation or ousting of an otherwise apparently worthy individual because of conduct, text message, email, or even a published article, uncovered in that … Continue reading I Object

Contempt orders are in the air. Politicians lawyer up. Months, even years go by before a final Court decision is rendered. But for some, justice is swift. The story: on August 1, 1975, two young Public Defenders stood before a Judge and refused to obey his Order. Within minutes, they were handcuffed and placed behind … Continue reading Contempt of Court

                                                For many of us, months of relative isolation have meant insular living, interacting for the most part with like-minded friends or family, working remotely, not experiencing those day-to-day meetings with people we would normally see in our work or social life. In some ways, this made life simpler, always on reasonably sure ground. … Continue reading At a Loss for Words

I live in one of five condominium units built around a common courtyard. One morning, on opening my front door to retrieve my newspaper, there in the center of the courtyard, just a few yards from where I stood, lay what at first appeared to be a human figure with outstretched arms. Momentarily alarmed, it … Continue reading End Days

We grow up being told to always tell the truth. But parents inevitably send a more nuanced message when we hear them tell a half truth, or tell untruths out of kindness, or remain silent, perhaps to keep a promised confidence, and thereby send a false message. My belief is that in the context of … Continue reading Nothing But the Truth?

                                                I rarely look back on failed ventures with lasting regret. I take account of what went wrong and move on with a new plan. But now I’m worried. Credible scholars of history, noting the current partisan political rift, suggest that a country divided is most at risk of succumbing to autocratic rule, the end … Continue reading Healing the Divide Revisited

As I connect with friends, most often now by text, email or phone, when certain issues come up, I try to change the subject. If that fails, I discover that my cat urgently needs to be fed. I have closed the door on commiserating at length about the latest actions or tweets of prominent politicians, … Continue reading Too Much Talk

Consider this question posed by Byron McCauley, a columnist and member of the editorial board of the Cincinnati Enquirer. It was published in 2017 on the day the trial of a University of Cincinnati police officer accused of murder ended in a mistrial because the jury was unable to reach a verdict. Tensing was tried twice and twice the jury deadlocked. … Continue reading Am I Racist?

As we keep our distance from one another, what I miss most is touch, a handshake, contact with a steadying arm allowing me to safely match the stride of a companion,  and the pleasure of being pulled into the gentle embrace of a friend, feeling the texture of their clothing, their scent, the pressure of … Continue reading The Loss of Touch

Bea’s publisher/publicist, Nancy Nolan, here: Bea’s book, The Third Person in the Room: Stories of Relationships at a Turning Point, has been awarded a silver medal in the 2019 Nautilus International Book Awards. The book won one of 4 silver prizes awarded in the category of "Relationships and Communication".  Some other recent silver medal award winners are Ann … Continue reading “The Third Person in the Room” Wins Nautilus Book Award

When I explore the meaning of an important turning point in my life and share it with a friend or loved one, I’m better known, to myself, and another. Loneliness dissipates. And belatedly, I can acknowledge and express gratitude to someone who offered me a positive, fulfilling new direction. But what about recalling those memorable … Continue reading Another Turning Point

Recently I put pen to paper and in a matter of minutes made note of nine turning points in my life, times when unanticipated events caused me to shift direction in a way that significantly impacted important decisions about my future, not those well considered plans developed over time that led me to select one … Continue reading Turning Points

Public Library Event postponed Nancy Nolan, Bea's publicist here: Bea's appearance at the Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County has been postponed. For now the library is closed. Once a new date has been scheduled, we will let you know. In the meantime, take care and stay safe.

My friend’s son is divorcing, ending a twenty-five-year marriage. Although sad, my friend doesn’t question the decision. He sensed from the sidelines that neither partner had been happy for some time and he was aware of their sincere efforts to work things out.             He and his daughter-in-law had come to know each other well … Continue reading A Protocol Is Needed

I did not realize anger was in the room until they were walking out the door. A step ahead of her, looking away and with an edge to his voice, he said: It’s time for you to just get out. Was I meant to overhear these words? I wasn’t sure, but they surprised me. Only … Continue reading The Throwaway Line

I wish I could think and write more intelligently about adult pornography. The very word looms large on the page or when spoken and is rarely mentioned in mixed company, even among good friends. Some well-known women academics regard it as an unmitigated evil, but the very existence of an industry that draws in many … Continue reading Threatened by Fantasy

         Sometime after my husband's death, I emptied his desk and found a small spiral notebook jammed into the very back of the top drawer, apparently long forgotten. Written on the first page was a date in April, five years earlier, followed by the name of the neurologist who had diagnosed Len as having Parkinson's … Continue reading The Little Notebook

You are trying to decide whether to disclose an important truth, but reconsider when a friend urges caution and suggests that you not take the unnecessary risk. So you reconsider. You decide to postpone the decision, even as you yearn for the release that authenticity would bring. You are stalled by ambivalence. We grow up … Continue reading Truth Telling

When I closed my office door and began to dream of writing a book, friends asked, “Why”? Striving to be truthful, I answered, “To avoid becoming invisible.” They objected, especially those who are younger, not wanting me to feel diminished by growing old. They tried to talk me out of having this concern. But they … Continue reading Invisibility

Dear Reader, If you have already received and read an email from Nolan Kerr Press, my publisher, publicist (and good friend, Nancy Nolan) about my upcoming book The Third Person in the Room: Stories of Relationships at a Turning Point, please move on to some other worthy emails in your feed. I have succumbed to … Continue reading The Third Person in the Room

Last month as Father’s Day approached, a story I heard on the radio came back to mind. The question had been posed: “What does it mean to be manly today?” A listener in California called the station to address it. The caller was a Mexican American who had come to this country at the age … Continue reading To Be A Man

Picture this David Sipress cartoon: two couples meet on a street corner. One of the men has placed his hands over his eyes. His female companion says: "It’s too late, Roger . . . they’ve seen us." This image has me chuckling each time I think about it. It brings to mind how I felt … Continue reading The Introvert’s Dilemma

This week I enjoyed a reunion of sorts. I had dinner with two former colleagues, two lawyers both named Bill. Over many years we spoke often and had developed a level of both trust and admiration for the quality of representation we offered to our clients, but I had not previously known of their close … Continue reading Men Friends

I have few memories of illness in my family as I was growing up. My parents barely  acknowledged minor ailments. They spoke of sickness as something that, with proper living, could be avoided. They often deemed the illness of others psychosomatic, not without sympathy, but with an underlying message of some hidden weakness that should … Continue reading The Shame of Illness

My cat likes to have her ears pulled. Her eyes narrow, and she arches her neck with pleasure as she awaits the next gentle tug. This feline resists being picked up, but curls into the crook of my arm when I am propped up in bed reading. She nudges, seeking my touch, and the pressure … Continue reading The Pleasure of Touch

I don’t deal well with anger, rarely express it, and when I’m the target of another’s wrath, I withdraw, literally if possible. I have few memories of angry outbursts in my childhood home, nor were they part of my marriage or later family life. Only vicariously have I been witness to rage, that of actors … Continue reading Anger Revisited

“Secrets are never kept. Everything eventually becomes known.” These words, coming from an old friend, surprised me. I’d been describing the plight of a family I’m close to, in which secrets are eroding the relationship of mother, father, and adult daughter. The couple were ending their unhappy marriage. They had told their adult children, and … Continue reading Secrets Are for Telling

When preparing to write again, I asked, “ With a world so divided, are personal essays but frivolous noise?" I posed the question to a psychologist friend wise in the ways of healing. She responded, “Nothing is more unifying than shared insights into the human condition.” So, I begin: After 48 years of law practice, … Continue reading

Having closed my mediation office door, and fast approaching my tenth decade, my quiescent blog is coming back to life with a plan to publish a monthly commentary. But my list of previous subscribers cannot be found, so I’m inviting those I recall were on the list and others with whom I’ve crossed paths over … Continue reading Invitation to Subscribe